When to Say "When" to Too Much Stuff

My mother had asked me for help to get her mindset in line with trying to get rid of things cluttering her new home, despite the fact that she had already gone through many times and culled the items she felt she could do without. After assembling the response below, I realized that other people might be able to make use of this as well:

The question was, basically (paraphrased): "If I get rid of things that I really like and value, how do I decide what's actually important?"

And my response:

"You have to look beyond the "value of the item" or "I may use/need it sometime in the future". Ask yourself: Why do you even care about this stuff? How does it fit into you world-view and self-purpose? What are you getting out of worrying about having it?

How Do You Value Sanity:

What is the object costing you in stress? (Concern about where to put it; worrying about how to get rid of it, stressing over finishing yet another project)

How Do You Value of Time:

What is the object costing you in time? (moving around, fixing, etc)

How Do You Value Space:

What is the object costing you it space? (intrusive, distracting, taking space better suited for something else)

These have to be pitted against:

What's the object's emotional worth? (Sentimentality, joy of working on projects)

What's the object's financial worth?

What's the object's obligatory worth?

What is the object's replaceablity?

What is the object's practicality?

Your life is your theater: Choose a plot.

Knowing your goals helps define your values; you have to focus on how you ~want~ your living situation to be and what you want to be doing in your life. If you want it to be uncluttered, then Space becomes more valuable. If you want to do more out-of-home activities, Time increases in value. If you'd like to not have a myriad projects nagging at you, Sanity's value inflates. Decide what you consider "living".

Choosing the props.

Consider the ramifications of getting rid of stuff, take it to extreme... what would happen if you were to simply get rid of almost everything, leaving the bare essentials? Would it truly affect your values, your outlook on life, etc? It may be a little bit uncomfortable, so we won't really go quite that far, but it gives you a starting point, emotionally, to figure out the worst-case scenario. You pretty much went through a similar exercise when you moved out of the house: you prioritized the stuff you really wanted in your living space, and all the cluttery, mind-numbing, time-consuming things were left for last and tucked into the basement. In fact, the stuff that didn't have a place that you cared about was allocated to the attic. Would you really miss the stuff in the basement if it just vanished? Would you miss anything enough to really cause true distress? Or would you feel relief? Pretend it's all gone, and see what you worry about missing.

We tend to define ourselves by what we surround ourselves with: drums express a creative side; ornate things display an eye for intricacy; projects indicate constructiveness. But we can do this defining with less quantity and more quality: a few drums that you can play with exquisite expertness; a couple ornate things that are really, really well made; 1 or 2 projects that we can actually complete. Eliminating the lesser helps us to have a greater appreciation for what we keep and sharpens our focus. Have a good idea of how you want your stage set.

Everything is really only as irreplaceable as we perceive it to be. Chances are, if you get rid of something you later feel you shouldn't have, there is something out there to fix that. Don't let the "uniqueness" of something cause you to cling; just as the adage goes "You're unique, just like everyone else.", so are things and stuff, and if you get rid of one unique thing, there's always another unique thing that could take its place.

Setting the Stage.

Do it. Once you've figured out what you must keep and what must go, sell it, give it away, donate it, recycle it, throw it away, burn it. Don't look back, don't regret, look forward to being clutter free.

Following the Script.

Even after you go through this ordeal, you'll still have to battle the urge to acquire more stuff yet; there's a reason you ended up with the quantities you had in the 1st place. It's not easy to change our habits; we see value in acquiring things for little money, overlooking, again, the un-value of having to stress over what to do with it. So, we have to adjust our mindsets not only for the task at-hand, but as a new lifestyle, much like dieting, where a diet is only as good as long as it's followed."

Now, I discovered that these very thoughts apply to myself as well. I realized that all this stuff is holding me back from how I really want to live my life. When I realized this, so many things lost a lot of "value" I had been placing on them. Now comes the struggle of deciding which method of disposal to choose for each item.